AZ Cousins Visit 06.05.10

Fun day at Zuma Beach, even if it was foggy most the time....

AZ Cousins Visit 06.04.10

Mom, Peyton, Natalie & Paige arrived just in time for Kami's Sky High Dance performance. (my favorite part was when Leyna danced along with the kindergartners from the side.)

A couple hours later we attended Gavin and Leyna's preschool graduation.

Wait

Today, when my doctor told me that I should continue chemo for a little while longer, I was disappointed. "I'm done, so done with feeling sick," I thought to myself. So many prayers, so many pleadings for this ailment to be gone, yet here we are faced with more treatments. All I can do is wait and trust that miracles are happening within and around me every day. I was comforted to come across this poem and reread it. Hope it inspires/calms you as it does me -- what's out of our hands is in the Lord's hands. Just wait.

WAIT
Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried:
Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.
I plead and I wept for a clue to my fate,
And the Master so gently said, "Child, you must wait."

"Wait? You say, wait!" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is Your hand shortened? Or have You not heard?
By faith, I have asked, and am claiming Your Word.
My future and all to which I can relate
hangs in the balance,and You tell me to wait?
I'm needing a "Yes", a go-ahead sign,
or even a "No" to which I can resign.
And Lord, You promised that if we believe
we need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:
"I'm weary of asking! I need a reply!

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
as my Master replied once again "You must wait."
So, I slumped in my chair,
defeated and taut and grumbled to God,
"So, I'm waiting...for what?"

He seemed, then, to kneel and His eyes wept with mine,
and He tenderly said "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens, and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead, and cause mountains to run.
All you seek, I could vie, and please you would be.
You would have what you want - but, you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint;
You'd not know the power I give to the faint.
You'd not learn to see through the clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there;
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me;
When the darkness and silence were all you could see.
You'd never experience the fullness of love
as the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove;
You'd know that I give and I Save, for a start,
but you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
The flow of my comfort late into the night,
the faith that I give when you walk without sight,
the depth that's beyond getting just what you asked
of an infinite God, who makes what you have last.
You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
what it means that "My grace is sufficient for thee."
Yes, your dreams for your loved one overnight would come true,
But, Oh, the Loss! If I lost what I'm doing in you!
So, be silent, My child, and in time you will see
that the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me.
And though oft' may My answers seem terribly late
My most precious answer of all is still, "Wait."

Scan Results

The great news is that no cancer was detected on the scans! (Well, the radiologist reported a spot on the liver that my doctor couldn't detect on his cd, so we'll find out for sure on Monday.) If you remember, the previous scan had shown signs of cancer in my sternum and pelvic regions, so this is fantastic news! The bummer news is that my oncologist would like me to continue chemo for a bit longer. We do what we gotta do, right? (so I keep telling myself)

The torch has been passed on

It has been such a privilege and honor to serve as the young women's leader the past couple years. As I told the girls on Sunday, they helped turn what could have been two of the hardest years of my life into two of the most beautiful and testimony-building years of my life. I was loved, sustained, and full of purpose every day that I could be in their presence and working for them! I never would have foreseen the day when I would willingly tell the Bishop that I may need to pass the leadership torch onto someone else, but life has come to that. I just got to the point where it didn't feel right that I couldn't give the best me to either my family or the young women; and when it comes down to the need to please, family must come first.

I'm so excited that Mama Spease will be running the program now, and look forward to watch the young women learn and flourish under her loving guidance!

(a few of the graduating laurels)

Random Photos

Gypsie Lady
Basketball season comes to an end...

Kami sanding down a "sword" -- must be armed and ready for battle

Just changed the van brakes -- such a turn on (can I say that on a family blog? hee hee)

Love my kids

Leyna Leyna Leyna

All that know our loveable Leyna, knows that she has no filter and says anything and everything on her mind. You also know that she loves to be heard....by everyone. So Sunday afternoon she was in the backyard swinging on the swing, singing at the top of her lungs,
"Sing, sweet Nightingale. Sing, sweet Nightingale. Aaaaa haaa aaaaa haa haaa!!" (sounded just like the stepsister on Cinderella) Then out of nowhere, to the same tune she starts shouting as loud as can be,
"Myyyy mom is bald. Myyyy mom is bald. Aaaa haaaa aaaa haaaa!!"

Eric and I were in the house listening and laughing hysterically!!
Leyna has this fascination with my baldness. Almost every morning she asks, "Mom, you're still bald?" She feels the need to tell every stranger and friend that her mom has no hair. On more than one occasion she's ripped my hat off and run away to expose my naked head in the midst of crowds of people. She has mini princess dolls whose hair can be removed and interchanged. She brought me one of her dolls the other day and said, "This one is you, Mom." Of course it had no hair at all. I think it's hilarious. I get a good giggle out of it every time I think of her innocence and obsession with the situation.

Toothfairy Visits Simi Valley!

Gavin lost his first tooth today! We rented "Toothfairy" in his honor and now he's $3 richer!

Chemo session 21

I have PET/CT scans scheduled for next Tuesday and find out results on Thursday. Keep your fingers crossed and hearts a prayin'!

A Child's View of Thunderstorms

A little girl walked to and from school daily.

Though the weather that morning was questionable and clouds were forming, she made her daily trek to school.

As the afternoon progressed, the winds whipped up, along with lightning.

The mother of the little girl felt concerned that her daughter would be frightened as she walked home from school. She also feared the electrical storm might harm her child.

Full of concern, the mother got into her car and quickly drove along the route to her child's school.

As she did, she saw her little girl walking along.

At each flash of lightning, the child would stop, look up, and smile.

More lighting followed quickly and with each, the little girl would look at the streak of light and smile.

When the mother drew up beside the child, she lowered the window and called, "What are you doing?"

The child answered, "I am trying to look pretty because God keeps taking my picture."

May God bless you today and every day as you face the storms that come your way!

Kaden's church talk

I made some suggestions to help Kaden write a talk for church this Sunday, but he refused any of my input. Instead, he sat down, started writing and 5 minutes later produced the following talk. In it, he incorporated the words of Grandpa Rick's baptism talk over a year ago! It's awesome to step back and realize that our children are really listening and understanding those things we're teaching, so much so that they can verbalize their thoughts and testimonies to be shared with others. Our kids are growing up so fast!

Happy Mother's Day

I have been blessed with AMAZING mothers in my life who have taught me countless lessons. For those who know our families, I'll let you take a gander at who taught me what. Some that come to mind include:

1. Always send 'thank you' cards
2. A gift should be given from the heart. Don't waste money on a card when a simple 'thank you' will suffice.
3. Life is about having fun and taking advantage of the moment. Be spontaneous.
4. Life should be enjoyed, but work should always come first.
5. A clean house is a house of order,and therefore,a house of God and peace.
6. A clean house is wonderful, but if family or other tasks need to be done, the workload of home can always be done later.
7. Having a good time in life teaches your children that other things and people matter besides just them.
8. The kids are everything, and everything you do should benefit them. (#7&8 can be linked together since doing for ourselves teaches such an important benefit for the kiddos.)
9. Ironning for our men is our responsibility.
10. Purchase non-wrinkling shirts, but if they do need some TLC, there's no reason why he can't iron his own clothing without you feeling guilty about it.
11. Drop everything for a fun time.
12. Drop everything to help someone in need.

I'm so glad I have such diverse ideals in my life, each with lessons that help me prioritize and have influenced the kind of mother I am today. Love you, Moms!

Today was a great Mother's Day -- probably the best yet. – No Ward Council meeting. Yay! I got to sleep in until Kami kept coming in and saying, ‘Wake up, Mom. I want you to open our presents.” I brushed my teeth and went downstairs. Eric had prepared pancakes and bacon. I was given an Olive Garden gift card with a note that said, “Mom, we know how much you love the Olive Garden. You are more “classy” than a fine dining experience. “ There was a box of See’s candies with a note, “Mom, sometimes you are like a box of chocolates. You bite into one and are not sure what you are going to get, but most of the time it is sweet.” A large bouquet of mums were on the table with this note, “Mom, we got you flowers to represent your beauty, these flowers are called mums. We got some mums for our mum” There were also some berries, “Mom, we know how much you like berries and we got themf or you just because…because we love you so “berry” much.” Kami also presented me with a recipe book and Kaden had handmade a fun trinket holder at school. To top it all off, we got to hear Eric give a talk in church – he did a great job of paying tribute to all kinds of mothers that impacted homes and history. Very well done.

Serena, the Graduate!

Congratulations, Serena, on graduating!!!! A job well done. Hopefully I won't be too far behind you if only I can decide what I want to be when I grow up - I thought I always knew until recently. Life is funny like that.

5k Family Fun Run/Walk/Ride

with 362 registered participants and almost $6k in funds raised, our 5k fundraiser for youth camps was a huge success, and we're sure it will only get bigger and better with time. After a prayer, presentation of American Flag, and singing of the National Anthem, bikers were sent on their way. Eric rode along with Gavin and Leyna. Kade rode with his friend, Wyatt. Runners and walkers left just 30 seconds later. Kambria is awesome. She ran the entire 3 miles without stopping or walking! She finished strong, too, racing my friend Kim across the finish line! You go, Girl!! Following the event, participants visited vendors, booths, played games like gunny sack races, egg toss, tug of war, limbo, etc... and had a great time listening to our amazing DJs, Millennium Productions. I hope to be a part of it all next year!

Monday's chemo

Great news -- found out my CEA count dropped from 1.9 to 0.7!