I've reached an all-time low for me. I promised I'd never ask the question 'why' to Heavenly Father, knowing that all trials will serve a purpose in due time. Yet, I cried for over an hour to the Lord the other night, pleading for a miracle for my body to be restored to full health immediately. I questioned why Peter was able to walk on water when I couldn't walk on carpet, why Moses could part the Red Sea when I can't even do my laundry, why, when Lazarus could be brought back from the dead, my left side continues to be limp, why so many were and are quickly healed but not me. I know the Lord can heal me completely in the twinkling of an eye. Not "why me?", but "why so long?" What more do I need to learn?
And then it hit me...we are all in training for greatness. The lesson we had Sunday about having faith in Christ couldn't have been more timely. "We can ... increase our faith by praying to Heavenly Father about our hopes, desires, and needs (see Alma 34:17-26). But we must not suppose that all we have to do is ask. We are told in the scriptures that “faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone” (James 2:17). " This message is an important one to grasp. Why is it important to show works in conjunction to our faith? I believe a large part is for our training -- God wants to prove to us the greatness we all have inside -- to overcome the most difficult trials with His help.
When I prayed for a quick miracle the other night, I had the feeling that I was not going to be granted that desire, but I also had the peaceful feeling that all would be okay. I know I have a tough road ahead of me with physical therapy, but like the saying goes, "I never said it would be easy; I only said it would be worth it."
I love your beautiful thoughts and words that you wrote. You are truly inspiring.
ReplyDeleteI am sure this is an even harder time for you with moving and the stroke. Thanks for sharing some of your raw emotions. I love your honesty. It is only normal to ask Why Me? Who wouldn't? You always have such a strong testimony and an eternal perpective. Thanks again for sharing. Love ya tons! I will call you when I go to Sac next time. By the way, I need your new address.
Eric and Bri-
ReplyDeleteWe are so happy that you have settled into your new home in Roseville and hope that you will both be happy there. We continue to keep you in our thoughts and prayers.
Steve and Mercedes Van Pelt
Hey Bri! Just wanted to let you know I think and pray for you daily. You are a beautiful person. I have learned so much about grace and kindness from your words. Thank you, Bri.
ReplyDeleteBri, I enjoy reading your blog. It seems like when I am struggling myself not understanding why things are happening, you have those words of wisdom and comfort reminding me that the Lord is still with us. I know patience is something our family struggles with but I know this will all turn around for you. Stay strong, you are a fighter and I know you will overcome this.
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