I think the worst thing about cancer is the pain, which has a snowball effect: discomfort, pain pills, drowsiness, side effects. The long term effect is my change of personality and not being able to convey the person inside. I don't have capabilities to serve the way I want to, I can't talk or laugh like I used to, I don't even have energy to sit here and talk. Most of all, I feel most upset about not being able to mother and teach the way I want to. I need a change to happen swiftly, in one direction or another. I know that an extension of life or a passing that will reunite me with God and loved ones are both blessings. I just need a change soon.
Many people fight such battles much longer than me, but 2 1/2 years feels endless to me. My heart reaches out to all those who join us in praying for a swift change. Also, to the Activity Day girls who heart attacked our front door and left bouquets of love notes, I thank you. My gratitude goes out to the large number of meals brought in to our home; I can't tell you what a physical and financial blessing that is! Also included in my ever-growing list of angels are those individuals who make my vitamin c infusions happen: Nurse Beth, Dr. Hassid, and several drivers who rearrange their schedules to fit me in. I love you all!
Hey Bri,
ReplyDeleteI just want you to know that you have not lost the core person that you are. I know that you were in pain and very fatigued when we visited, but I could still sense that beautiful, warm, and joyful person that I remember from childhood. Your soul shines outside of your physical body and is felt by everyone, but most importantly your husband and children. I am sorry that your pain and fatigue has caused such heartache for you. Please know that you are everything you need to be--you always have been and you always will be. I love you with all my heart and soul and I wish nothing but peace for you in which ever form that may come. I love you Bri.
Sure love you, Briana. Waiting is the worst thing in life. You and your family are still in our prayers. I am so glad you have written this blog. It is wonderful to feel connected somehow. You are such an inspiration, you have fought so hard for so long. I admire you so much.
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to let you know we think of you often and continue to pray for your comfort. You are teaching us all so much as you endure through all this. We love you very much!
ReplyDeleteI, too, am always thinking of you. Please keep praying for yourself too. God hears you and he calls upon us all to reach for you and offer our love and prayers. We all respond, every time. Please dont stop praying. I pray for for peace for you! And comfort and all things positive!
ReplyDeleteBri,
ReplyDeleteWe pray for you daily hope your pain is eased. You have know idea how much you "serve" even when you are physically and mentally not up to it. We still learn so much from you, and your testimony radiates. We love you!
Just wanted you to know I think of you often and I hope you know how much you have taught me about life. Your beautiful family is amazing and I'm so glad you have your blog. I hope you feel the love and have all the comfort you need. You are a true fighter!!!!
ReplyDeleteBri I love you. I pray for you daily and have been speaking with Heather the past few days. Hang in there sweet heart. I know you are going through such a hard time, but your a fighter. More of one tban I have EVER seen or could ever hope to be. Your inspirational Bri. I love you. I'm working on raising money for your family with Heather. It's coming along. Iv been speaking to the lead singer of owl city about getting a charity concert done in your families behalf. Your in my thoughts and prayers! Love you! XoXo
ReplyDeleteBri, Our heart reaches out to you and your family. Like one of your friends said before said, "Waiting is one of the most difficult things in life" I think it is the ultimate test of our faith. You have been an amazing example and our prayers will continue to be with you for a soon change to come in the direction the Lord wants it to be. He loves us more than we can understand, and we have no doubt that as a loving Father he will take you in the direction you need to be. We pray for health, and the strength to endure. You are loved. The eyes are the window to the soul, and your eyes and smile, radiate the true person you are inside. You are beautiful inside and out.
ReplyDeleteBri, I know you and I have never met (again, I am Eric's cousin)But I want you to know what an inspiration you have been and are to me, and I KNOW I am not alone, but that I am joined by countless others. I have put you and your families names in the temple each time I go and you have been a part of my fasting and prayers for quite some time and will continue to be. I pray at this time for you, Eric and the kids hearts to be comforted and your burdens be made lighter and also for the swift change that you so desire. Just know you have family here in Northern Idaho that love you all!!!
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