I think the worst thing about cancer is the pain, which has a snowball effect: discomfort, pain pills, drowsiness, side effects. The long term effect is my change of personality and not being able to convey the person inside. I don't have capabilities to serve the way I want to, I can't talk or laugh like I used to, I don't even have energy to sit here and talk. Most of all, I feel most upset about not being able to mother and teach the way I want to. I need a change to happen swiftly, in one direction or another. I know that an extension of life or a passing that will reunite me with God and loved ones are both blessings. I just need a change soon.
Many people fight such battles much longer than me, but 2 1/2 years feels endless to me. My heart reaches out to all those who join us in praying for a swift change. Also, to the Activity Day girls who heart attacked our front door and left bouquets of love notes, I thank you. My gratitude goes out to the large number of meals brought in to our home; I can't tell you what a physical and financial blessing that is! Also included in my ever-growing list of angels are those individuals who make my vitamin c infusions happen: Nurse Beth, Dr. Hassid, and several drivers who rearrange their schedules to fit me in. I love you all!
Monday, February 21, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
Junior High Reunion
To all you ladies who made the flight/drive out for a girls' weekend, THANK YOU! It was just like old times...with the exclusion of myself, everyone is as beautiful and charismatic as ever! We spent several hours catching up at my place, then visited Chakra's Spa for massages, facials, and pedicures. The night completed with long-awaited for dinner at BJ's. I felt so loved. Just wish I wasn't fighting fatigue and pain the whole time. If I seemed to be more of a bystander than participant, I hope you understand the reasoning. Love you girls!
Monday, January 31, 2011
Friday, January 21, 2011
Tess Loses Her Wisdom (Teeth)
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Wednesday, January 19, 2011
The New Do
Before jumping in the shower tonight, Eric teased me, "You have the worst hair." Boy, was he wrong. Check out what I looked like a half hour later. Today was my tenth and final day of radiation. I kept thinking (hoping) the doctors would be wrong and I wouldn't lose my hair again, but guess I'm not so lucky. Here we go again. What's hilarious is the mullet in back that, at least so far, hasn't fallen out. Maybe by summer I'll have beach babe hair? Alright, just hair would be fine with me.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
more weekend pics
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| Hedbanz game |
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| Dad, Mom |
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| Tiff |
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| Thanks for the lift |
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| Heather, Serena |
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| Mom always smiling |
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| Heather |
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| nice profile, Nate...haha |
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| Serena,April |
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| wake up, Serena |
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| Serena, Kambria |
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| Leyna Lou-Who |
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| Bri, Kami, Tiffany |
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| Nate, Leyna, April |
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| Beauty Queen |
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| Tiff, Heather |
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| Serena, Bri, Tiff |
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Friday, January 7, 2011
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