Baldacious

You've got to check out what made my day today. I had a good laugh at what a friend of ours sent us, along with bandannas and fabric paint to style our own head "accessories."



Isn't Wendy clever and hilarious? I totally cracked up when I got her fun package in the mail.

Wig Shopping

A little annoying...I don't know why these pictures are so small, nor do I know how to fix them, but here are snapshots of our wig shopping extravaganza. The final decision was long hair since I figure I'll be short for the next several years. Why not go wild, huh?

Epiphany

I had an epiphany today while sitting in the oncologist’s office. There’s so much talk and paraphernalia about finding cures for cancer. There’s bitter talk about why a loving Heavenly Father would allow such suffering. I sat there thinking to myself, “No. My heart tells me it’s not like that at all!” A cure is all I want right now, but in the meantime, think of the communities and families that have come together to love and serve one another – to mourn with those that mourn, to bear one another’s burdens. Our Father in Heaven provides opportunities every day for us to keep his commandments, to follow His ultimate example of serving, loving, and caring for His spirit children, our spirit brothers and sisters. I get to experience firsthand on a daily basis how beautiful the hearts of mankind really are. Turn off the news of contentious politics, crime and adultery for a bit. You’ll find a world of compassion. Plase accept my gratitude to all those who uplift and show me what leading a Christ-like life is really all about. If I can “pay it forward” even ½ of what you’ve done for our family, I’ll be on the right track. Loads and Loads of Love!!!

GI Jane

Real women are bald and drive minivans!

It's a Whole New Me!

I fell asleep during chemo today for almost two hours -- it was wonderful! Though not so wonderful was when I woke up and got out of my chair to use the restroom and my hair decided to not come with me. Chunks of hair fell to the chair. At this point, it's just comical. After the initial shock, we had a fun family afternoon of hair shaving and hat shopping. What do you think of our findings? Do I look as hot as Demi Moore? ha ha ha Cory brought up a good point that miracles never cease -- not only did Eric encourage me to cut my hair, but he participated in it; this is truly a momentous day!

Kambria's Getting Baptized & You're Invited

Our Spring Break is going to be a special one: Kami turns 8 and gets baptized, Curtis returns home from Peru and has a homecoming, and Leyna turns 4. Oh yeah, and I get to undergo radiation again just before leaving town. Yay!
The plan is to celebrate all these milestones in Gilbert, AZ, the baptism being held Saturday, April 10th at 4:00 pm at the Stapley Stake Center. We know it's a drive for most, but wanted you to know that you are warmly invited. Ther's no greater feeling than a roomful of loved ones sharing in a spiritual experience.

Fun in a Box

Hair Loss

Saturday I was noticing that I was losing a lot of hair. I told Eric as we were just about to head to bed. He combed his fingers through my hair and pulled out a big clump of hair. I did the same. Again and again. Already I was feeling overly sleepy and weepy, so the sight of my hair falling out didn't bring out the best in me. I cried about my ugliness, to which my loving husband just laughed and laughed. I know...I'm not at a point in life where vanity should have any bearing on my thoughts, but I can't deny that I hate feeling so unattractive. But come fat, come baldness, it's to go know my husband and kids love me no matter what. Kaden is always the first to tell me that he doesn't think my cheeks are big. And Gavin told me tonight how my hair isn't so bad; it's kind of cool. Kami was hoping for a chance to buy hair accessories. Leyna's oblivious. How'd I get so lucky to have such understanding, supportive kids? I love them soooo much!!!

Monday I met with the doctor who explained that had I just had radiation, I wouldn't have experienced hair loss. Same goes for chemo. But for those tumors that were close to the scalp, coupled with chemo this week, it was just too sensitive an area; hence, the hair loss. There will probably be one more small spot on the side of my head where he said I could expect to lose my hair, but other than that,the rest should stay put. I don't know what I think about that -- now that much of it's gone, it might as well all be gone so I can do the wig/hat thing. Now I just have ugly hair! It's kind of comical, I admit. Oh, the things we must go through.

A Prayer of Healing

Tonight for family night, we had so much fun looking through pictures and reading funny stories. We talked about family records and how we want to eventually turn our blog into a book of remembrance, maybe annually or something. Afterwards, we talked about prayer and I shared with the kids a poem I wrote the other night during one of my insomniatic evenings. Kaden prompted me to put it in our "book of remembrance", so here it is.


A Prayer of Healing

When it comes to any hardship, I refrain from asking, “Lord, why me?”
But when I think of all my blessings, that question’s often posed to Thee.
I am not deserving; I just don’t understand
Why I grew up with the Gospel in this blessed Promised Land.
Raised by loving parents and a faithful family,
With friends of absolute support, who’d help in any catastrophe.
Comforts of life are something I’ve never gone without
You’ve sustained me, and given me, all I’ve cared about.
Even when life gets hard with toil and with strife
I find it so easy to be grateful to be a mother and a wife.
These divine roles are exceedingly fulfilling
Teaching, training, nurturing – makes each days’ tasks so thrilling.
So much I’ve been given that it’s hard to ask for more
Yet selfishly I plead to Thee for another gift in store.
As cancer takes my body, it seems my health is all I lack
I pray for nothing short of miracles – to assault this cancer – full attack!
I want to love my husband, to raise my children and to know
That I will be part of their life experiences - to watch them learn and grow.
Before coming to earth, I know Your side I eagerly chose
How excited I was to gain a body, to stand with You when the time arose.
Please don’t take from me, any moment of time,
That I know I must have looked forward to with anticipation sublime.
I know the joys and beauties of heaven will definitely far exceed
The bliss of this telestial life, but those things I don’t yet need.
Please let me be Thy earthly servant, to witness and to share
In all that this short span of eternity has to offer one trying to be a righteous heir.
I am anything but perfect, my many faults abound,
But I know that with Thy guidance, I can do great works that will astound.
Regardless of the outcome, I offer Thee my life, I offer Thee my heart,
But pray this gift of health and living You’ll see fit to impart.


(By the way, for all you who have lovingly reached out with phone calls, emails and concern, I apologize for not answering the phone. Chemo went really well today. No sickness, but I'm sure looking forward to getting some sleep tonight. Just emotionally and physically drained from the past few weeks -- it's definitely catching up with me.)

I love a you!

These are the things in life that make a mother's heart melt! How lucky I was to capture this on video.

Just Because

Happy 9th Birthday, Kaden!

It's always fun to celebrate another year of life of our amazing children, and Kaden is certainly no exception! It wasn't a birthday party year, but he was able to have a couple friends spend the night and enjoy a day of fun. Boys will be boys: staying up late playing the Wii, watching Star Wars, then waking at the crack of dawn to play more Wii, ride bikes at the park, and off for some ice cold fun at the ice arena. Can anyone else believe I have a 9 year old? And such a fabulous one at that?! Kaden's a loving leader whose spirit lifts and encourages our home daily. I'm so blessed to be his mother! Thanks for being our friend, our helper, and our strength. We love you, Kaden!

Round 2 Radiation

Here I am the morning of round 2 radiation. No denying the "moon face" weight gain issue I'm facing now!

Some photos that Eric captured today of me being transported by ambulance from one building to another after my halo was put on. After numbing and screwing the halo into place, doc decided it wsan't exactly in the best location, so we got to redo the process. I got to get drilled 8 times in the head today instead of 4. It was worth it, though, to learn that they were able to radiate four more tumors today. Eight down, five to go, assuming no new ones try to pop up.

One of the drills hit a vessel that didn’t want to stop bleeding, so nurse Aiko wrapped up my head and I laid there for a half hour or so until the bleeding subsided. Only one other bleeding episode took place when we went out to lunch and the hole on the left front of my head started seeping. Easily remedied, though. No worries. Now I just have dry, matted bloody hair in the back that they don’t want me to wash out until tomorrow in case it reopens the wounds.


I have a PET/CT scan scheduled for 1:00 tomorrow. Chemotherapy starts Monday. I will refrain from radiation until Wednesday, April 7th. At that time, they’ll put on the halo, run another MRI, determine if a month of chemo had any effects on the remaining 5 tumors. If not, they will continue Gamma Knife treatment and hopefully radiate what’s left. There's no telling at this point, how much chemotherapy they will want to administer, but if history is indicative of anything, I imagine it'll be 4 months or so (8 sessions every other week.)