Gilbert High School Volleyball Team Rocks!

The Gilbert High School volleyball team in AZ (my alma mater), on the first night of State Championship Finals, was honoring me in AZ. These sweet girls, who don't even know me personally, wore specialized  t-shirts they designed, made me the following video, and donated the proceeds of the evening to our medical bills. Isn’t that amazing? I had NO idea and was speechless to learn of their support and love. How can I think about not fighting when I think of them fighting for me. THANK YOU, ladies. You motivate me to be a better person. (and great job at winning 2nd in State!!)

Thanksgiving

I wasn't a very good photographer on Thanksgiving. I think I took for granted that everyone was visiting for several days and just kepr procrtastinating until it was too late. Lots of family, lots of food, lots of fun -- just the way Thanksgiving should be. The day after Thanksgiving was a fun-filled girls' day out: breakfast, movies, shopping, pedicures, dinner. We need more days like that!

Too Much Information?

If not for my faith, I seriously would have thought that I was dying this weekend. Upon being disconnected from my FOLFIRI chemo on Friday, they infused me for another hour with a new drug, Vectibex, that’s supposed to enhance the effectiveness of chemo. Boy, did it do a number on me. I couldn’t keep anything down that I tried to get into my system, and I was so constipated that I couldn’t get anything out that was previously there.  Get this…I drank two cups of laxative tea (threw it up), drank two tablespoons of milk of magnesia (threw it up), took 4 co-lace/stool softeners (threw ‘em up), used two fleet enemas (fissures and hemorrhoids made them too painful to withstand. Believe it or not, I lost 12 pounds within 24 hours and was drastically weak and dehydrated. My friend, Cindy Flaschner, drove up with her daughter, Emily, for the weekend from Simi Valley. Being the best hostess ever, I was curled up in fetal position on my floor and tried to talk but couldn’t. I hate for people to see me weak so had to ask her to leave. L She took Kami with her to a hotel and the three girls played for a couple days. Cindy, I insist on a redo visit! Thank you for being soooo understanding and helpful! You are a tremendous friend!

Finally, at 7 pm, I knew something had to be done or I was going to have to go to the hospital. Eric and Larry gave me a priesthood blessing for healing. For those not familiar with priesthood blessings, it’s a very special blessing given by men in our church who worthily hold the priesthood. They lay their hands on my head and offer a special prayer inspired by God. No matter your faith, the facts are facts. Within five minutes of the blessing, I had runny stool. I fell asleep for an hour and woke with an urgent need to empty my bowels, so to speak. I hobbled as quickly as I could to the bathroom, but just before entering the toilet room (though safely in the bathroom), my bowels released on their own. My pants and socks filled with the “runs.” Yep, 31 years old and I crapped my pants. Being the best husband in the world, Eric cleaned everything! He must love me.

Then, Leyna came to me saying she needed to pee, but didn’t want to because she felt like she had a reflection and it hurt. I realized she meant to say infection, so smugly old her to go before she peed her pants then to take a warm bath with me. She was so afraid of the pain; she didn’t go until she ended up peeing all over the boys’ bathroom floor. Low and behold, Gavin waited too long to pee and when he went to relieve himself and saw Leyna’s urine on the floor, he didn’t want to use his bathroom. So he hobbled down the hall to the girls’ bathroom, peeing all the way. Again, Eric cleaned it all up. He came in to me and asked, “How does our 6 year old pee his pants?!” “Can’t ask me,” I replied, “your wife just pooped her pants.” It was disgustingly comical.  

Monday night, my friend Tanja and her kids walked in with bags of groceries. While the kids played and I layed lifeless on the couch, Tanja made us a big pot of broccoli/potato/carrot/cheese soup and a batch of bran muffins. How fortunate are we to have such great friends?

Tuesday, Larry and Kaden drove me to my vitamin c infusion appointment in Davis. I felt a bit better for a couple hours, fell asleep, then woke up nauseas and sick again. I’ve been living off zofran. Threw up Tuesday night but have kept everything down today. Doc gave me aloe pills to help with constipation and those seemed to work great today. Now we’re eagerly awaiting the arrival of the Raymond family and Mark, Lori and Jaydin. Lokking forward to a great Thanksgiving!

 

Soul Providers

I'm sure anyone going through long-term medical care can relate to the warmth I feel for nurses and doctors. There are so many others I wish to add, but here are some the three nurses who administer my chemo every other week. Though they have families and health obstacles of their own, they never fail to come into work and lift my spirits. Thank you, Jayne, Mary & Teri.

And this is part of the staff at the Institute for Restorative Health -- Sarah, Beth who administers my vitamin c infusions, and the best doctor ever, Dr. Hassid

E-stim

Several times a day I get to use the estim unit to activate the muscles in my foot and hand. It feels so good to stretch those muscles without my hand. And I promise I'm not being vulgar...I have no control over the way my fingers raise.

Neupogen Shots...A Family Affair

Many of you have heard me talk about my butt-gut. Here's the proof. After cutting vertically through my stomach a couple times, I herniated and gained weight around the incision--thus the butt-gut. It is what it is. I'm too sexy for my shirt! haha Obviously I have no shame anymore...my vanity's almost gone...maybe. Here's Kami giving me my injection and Kaden squeezing my excessive "skin." Now the kids argue over who gets to poke me each morning. If nothing else, Kami's now interested in becoming a nurse.  :)

Medical Update

I receive so many loving messages of support. Please know I love you all immensely and that your faith increases my own. Without the use of my left hand, it takes me a while to chicken-peck the keyboard and I fail to respond as much as I'd like. All I'd like to say can't easily be conveyed in words so I often absorb the spirit of the writings and negclect to respond.

That said, I want to bring you up to speed on treatments. A few weeks ago I started going to an amazing neurologist whose practice is a perfect blend of medical treatment and naturopathic care. I'm so excited about his services that I want to throw out the toxic chemo treatments altogether, though he doesn't recommend it quite yet. Twice a week, I receive vitamin c intravenously and have started taking several supplements. I feel great after the treatments! Doc suggests I continue chemo to utilize it as a jumpstart to killing cancer cells, then wean off of it as results show I don't need it. My next scans are the week of Christmas, so if my body can sustain it, I'll receive three more chemo treatments. I can do it, I can do it, I think I can, I think I can, I hate it, I need it, you've done 27 sessions already-just suck it up and get through it, but it's so miserable and literally killing me, just do it....these are my daily thoughts. Today I feel good, though, and am re-energized for a good fight.

Every other week I have chemo, which you know is three days of infusion. On my off chemo weeks, I have to give myself neupogen injections to bring up my white blood cell count in order to be treated the following week. My body is just not rebounding like it used to. If the cancer doesn't kill me, the chemo certainly will if we give it enough time.

And because the Lord apparently knows I can handle it, though some days I'm not too sure, I deal with the repercussions of the stroke. This includes two days of physical and occupational therapy a week, and if I can muster up the energy, at-home therapy for 1-2 hours each day.

Between blood work, treatments, and therapy, I have 2-3 appointments a day, which is why life would be impossible if it weren't for Mom and Joan living with us for weeks to months at a time and helping with the kids and household chores. Just when I think I can't handle anymore challenges, I'm proved wrong, just as when I think I can't be loved or love anymore, my heart continues to swell. It's a wonder my left breast isn't considreably large than my right as a result. heeheehee

We read in the Book of Mormon in 2 Nephi 25:23, "...for we know that it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do." Now that I'm trying a more holistic approach, after giving western medicine it's time, I believe I'm doing all I can do. And in Ether 12:6 we read that "...ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith." My faith is being tried and tested. If I pass the test and if it be God's will, I know I must have a miracle waiting for me.

Ryan

Ryan is Eric's childhood friend from San Diego, and the best friend anyone could ask for. I want to show you a little bit of his "fun-filled" visit, from which we all benefited and appreciate tremendously.....

Ryan baking homemade cinnamon rolls

Ryan cleaning

Ryan making butternut squash soup after a day of baking banana bread

Ryan doing dishes

Ryan cleaning oven

Ryan being okay with our boring household

Little Buds now Big Buds

Playtime

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Daddy Dogpile!





Grandma Joan filling in for Grandma Teri this month. Can't function without you; so glad you're here!



Soccer Game Concession Stand



Chef Leyna returned from preschool in time to make jello and hard-boiled eggs with Grandma



Happy Birthday, Mom!

No one would guess you're 58! Hope I age as beautifully as you.

Happy 37th Anniversary, Mom & Dad

Halloween

We love Halloween!

Kaden the Reaper

Kami the Skeleton Bride

Anakin Gavin

Leyna, AKA Barbie in the Fashion Fairytale





Watch out, Barbie!

Come Back Soon, Kasey.

Once my YW, always my girl!

Trunk or Treat night

Kasey & Kami on rainy night

Soccer girl Kasey & Leyna

Simi Visitors

What a wonderful surprise to have Tiffany and Martha join the Speases, Prevosts and Steenes for a day of cooking and friendship! If it warms my kitchen, you know it warms my heart! The only complaint I had is that their stay was so short. The whirlwind visit made us homesick for our Simi family.

Tiff, Bre, Bri, Marcella, Margaret, Martha

Aubrey, Bob, Margaret

Rob & Breanne