Me, an Author?

You’ve Benn Served, written by Briana Stephen. What do you think? So many have prompted me to write a book, and I’m considering it – just waiting for the happy ending. I like this title, because it has a two-part meaning: I can focus on the trial with which I’ve been served/sentenced and then the service I’ve been given to help me get through it. Yea or Nay?

Not Yet

Well...we were so hoping for clean scans last week, but unfortunately that's not to be yet. It seems taking a month off chemo really does make a big difference. To give you an idea....besides the brain tumors, the last scans showed just two small spots of cancer -- one in the sternum, the other in my pelvic region.

Today we learned the cancer has spread to my femur bone, both sides of my pelvic bones, an area in my ribs through to my back, liver, several tiny spots on my lungs, and larger masses in the bladder and vaginal canal. Guess what this means? You guessed it -- back on chemo! And to top it all off, the last type of chemo supplement available to me will cause a facial and chest rash, much like horrible acne for which I'll have to take additional medication. Apparently the Lord's trying to strip me of all my vanity! :)

The fight persists, as does our call for continued prayers. We are relying on all of you! Thanks for continual faith and support! WE LOVE YOU!

An Important Reminder

I've reached an all-time low for me. I promised I'd never ask the question 'why' to Heavenly Father, knowing that all trials will serve a purpose in due time. Yet, I cried for over an hour to the Lord the other night, pleading for a miracle for my body to be restored to full health immediately. I questioned why Peter was able to walk on water when I couldn't walk on carpet, why Moses could part the Red Sea when I can't even do my laundry, why, when Lazarus could be brought back from the dead, my left side continues to be limp, why so many were and are quickly healed but not me. I know the Lord can heal me completely in the twinkling of an eye. Not "why me?", but "why so long?" What more do I need to learn?

And then it hit me...we are all in training for greatness. The lesson we had Sunday about having faith in Christ couldn't have been more timely. "We can ... increase our faith by praying to Heavenly Father about our hopes, desires, and needs (see Alma 34:17-26). But we must not suppose that all we have to do is ask. We are told in the scriptures that “faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone” (James 2:17). " This message is an important one to grasp. Why is it important to show works in conjunction to our faith? I believe a large part is for our training -- God wants to prove to us the greatness we all have inside -- to overcome the most difficult trials with His help.

When I prayed for a quick miracle the other night, I had the feeling that I was not going to be granted that desire, but I also had the peaceful feeling that all would be okay. I know I have a tough road ahead of me with physical therapy, but like the saying goes, "I never said it would be easy; I only said it would be worth it."

Our kids are the Best!

Just want to take a minute to brag about my kids. With all they're facing with a new home, new friends, my handicaps and their added responsibities as a result, they've not compained at all! True, they miss their friends in Simi (as do we all) and would rather play than work; but they see that I need help and are right there for me! Kaden often walks slowly down the stairs to help me, Leyna helps stretch my arm out as I walk, Kami rubs my shoulders, and Gavin gives me affection galore when no one is watching. ;-). We're undergoing hair curling training, washing machine and dish washing training, and adding more chores than ever. So far, no complaints. Am I blesssed , or what?

I asked the kids if my walking funny embarrassed them. Unanimously, they looked at me like I was crazy.

Walking (hobbling) in the mall one night, though, Gavin said, "Mom, why are you walking like that? I'm going to try it." He proceeded to try, but to no avail. I just laughed and said, "Now you know how I feel. I can't walk like you!"

It helps to laugh at the situation. My arm is bent at the elbow with my fingers curled in. Eric asked me one night, “What do you want?” “What do you mean?” I replied. He said. “Your arm is always out like you’re looking for a handout.” We laughed hard over that. My wonderful friend, Marci, said I should be a pirate for Halloween since I walk like I have a wooden leg that swings around to move forward. Pitiful, but true.

We've Arrived

Here are a few snapshots of our Roseville home. We love it. One week here, and so far so good. A huge thanks to the large help we received on both ends of the move, packing/loading and unpacking/unloading. We certainly couldn't be enjoying ourselves now had it not been for you! The ward has been welcoming, schools are great, and all the shopping you could ever want is within 3 miles of our home, which is a nice change. Eric's ready to get out in the field and get to work. The kids are eager to make friends, and me...well, I'm on an emotional rollercoaster -- for the most part elated by our blessings, then one minute so saddened by my physical limitations, and then frustrattion fed. I've learned that I don't have much patience  for personal weakness.

I definitely find myself longing for the way things used to be, longing to care for my family, home, church callings, and still get in a marathon trainig run! Now I can't get dressed, tie my shoes or open a jar of peanut butter alone. Woe is me. I'm sorry for my pity party; it's unacceptable. Scans this week determine future chemo treatments, so fingers are crossed. I'm struggling so much dealing with the stroke that I don't know how I can face the sickness of chemo, as well.



B.O.O.T. Camp (Building Our Own Testimonies)

Though camp in Mammoth Lakes may have been my demise and trigger for the stroke, I am grateful to have been a part of a wonderful camp experience! My heart was overflowing with love at testimony meeting, and it was a powerful thing to watch the support and encouragement the young women gave one another to help each other overcome hard things throughout the week. Definitely, my favorite girls camp ever.

Mountain Biking

Hot Springs

Skits

Adventure Races

Rock Climbing



Devil's Postpile



Rainbow Falls

Beautiful Lakes

Row Boating

Tent Stories & Songs

After Stroke (stuck in chair) with Bishop & Cori

Happy 6th Birthday, Gavin

Unfortunately, we didn't have friends to throw a party with, but it worked out nicely that Gavin's first day of school here was his birthday. He was able to share ring pops with his classmates and was accepted by all. Yay! We also celebrated with family at Chevy's. The night of his birthdy he didn't want to go to sleep, because he didn't want to wake up to a non-birthday day.

and here's Princess Leyna and HighnessGrandpa?

Tour de France

What do you do for someone who has supported and loved you through the thick and thin, the ups and downs, and emotionally, physically, and financially cared for you? I'm not sure, but a trip to Paris to ride the famous roads from the Tour de France was an attempt to show my appreciation to Eric. It was 7 months in the making and the following pictures don't convey but a fraction of his experiences (we have a 2 hour movie for that!) but following is a glimpse of his time in Europe, mostly in the Pyrenees, from July 12th-27th.

day 1- 

Lance Armstrong

day 2-bread depot

day 2-soulor

day4- Artigue

 
day5- cafe watching tour with Wayne

day 10- chalkbot finding

day12 - Louvre

 
day 12 - Eiffel Tower

day 13- Arc de Triumph

day 3 - Col de Abisque